Whitaker's Weekly Articles  –  October 16, 2004

October 23, 2004  –  Catfight

October 23, 2004  –  Why the Toilet is a Liberal Adventure

October 23, 2004  –  Jewish Intellectuals: Another Whitaker Heresy

Fun Quote:

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

--Henry A. Kissinger




Gore Vidal is an interesting person. He was raised in a privileged, very blond WASP family. He became a homosexual and a far leftist.

But in his biography of Lincoln, the last sentence of the book is staggering. He said Lincoln knew that the South had a right to secede.

William Buckley is the founder of Respectable Conservatism. He never says anything unkind to liberals. But Vidal once upset Buckley so much that Buckley called him, on national television, "a queer."

At a cocktail party in New York, Vidal told Norman Mailer that he looked like "a typical Jewish Intellectual." Mailer then BUTTED him. Vidal ended up with a bloody nose. It was the kind of catfight you would expect when New York writers get together.

Norman Mailer sees himself as a Tough Guy. One sitcom had a girl calling Norman Mailer and she kept saying things like, "Yes, you are a tough guy, GRR!" "Yes, you can whip me."

The way Mailer shows he is tough is by talking about dung. He wrote a book called Ancient Evenings about the smell of dung, the TASTE of dung in bread, dung, dung, dung.

Even in New York, the reviewers of Ancient Evenings were offended by that monomaniacal talk about dung.

Bathroom talk is the trademark of a New York Jewish writer. I have noticed that when you talk with a Northeastern Jew, the conversation very quickly goes, literally, into the toilet.

Portnoy's Complaint was a hilarious book about a New York Jew talking to his psychiatrist. It was a best-seller written by a New York Jew. When I refer to it I am anaziwhowantstokillsixmillionjews.

In one scene Portnoy talks about when he was a boy and he was on the toilet. His mother is worried he is sick. She is banging on the door and demanding to look at his feces.

When you watch programs on cable television or movies, you are puzzled by the constant use of the s*** word. You wonder, "Why offend people like that so pointlessly?"


Why the Toilet is a Liberal Adventure


Every child has to go through the pulling out of his "baby" teeth, but we consider it a childish problem. If an adult had to go through that, he would demand anesthetics.

Remember Mister Rogers? He was a wonderful man who had a program for preschoolers. He was actually an ordained minister of the Presbyterian Church. One of his little songs was about, "You won't go down the drain." He was telling three-year-olds that when they took a bath and all that water fell into the drain, they wouldn't go down the drain. Tiny children are afraid of that drain.

Who else would think of that?

Another traumatic problem little children have is the "stinky" in their diapers. At first, all the attention they get from their Mommy when the diaper is changed is just fun.

Then they find that "the stinky" is a disgusting thing.

Then they find out, to their horror, that even Mommy and Daddy "go stinky." Then they get to the first grade and they tell each other jokes about "go stinky." It makes them feel grownup to make those jokes.

I think New York writers are stuck right there. I can't get inside their minds, so this is a guess: I think their obsession with the toilet that puzzles and irritates the rest of us is that, being raised by Jewish Mothers, they are still at the first-grade stage. They are still bragging about their familiarity with the fact that everybody goes to the stinky. For them, this is a symbol of macho adulthood.

New York Intellectuals are still six-year-olds in many ways.


Jewish Intellectuals: Another Whitaker Heresy


The last thing anybody but Whitaker could imagine calling a Jewish Intellectual is "immature."

In America, the New York Intellectual is regarded, even by his enemies, as the height of creative genius. So saying that New York writers are obsessed with dung because they are still mentally in the first grade hits people sideways.

Let me hit you sideways with another line: Jewish Intellectuals are not all that creative.

Contrary to what half-educated people tell you, Albert Einstein did not invent the Theory of Relativity. He would be the first to tell you that. He invented the Theory of SPECIAL Relativity. He extended the theory of relativity, which had been invented by a European gentile, to use light-speed as the basis of his theory of the universe. It was undeniably great work, but it was not his invention.

One thing that has been erased by history is the fact that Albert Einstein spent the last part of his life fighting Quantum Theory, developed by another European gentile. Quantum Theory is essential to modern science, but Einstein said it couldn't be true because, "God does not play dice with the universe."

Norman Mailer condemned the Moon Landing in 1969 as "Faustian." In other words, America was selling its soul to go into space. Today every person with a pacer keeping him alive owes it to the "Faustian" space program. Silicon Valley came from that space program. The benefits were endless. But Mailer's mind did not extend that far.

Another thing that has been erased from history is the Mule Train. When the space launch was about to begin, the entire civil rights movement and all its leaders had a Mule Train March to Cape Kennedy. Like Mailer they protested sending a man to the moon because the money should go to poor blacks.

Mailer could not understand that the basic research that went into the moon landing was enormously valuable to humanity in general. His idea of being humane was limited to taking from the rich and giving to the poor.

I loved Robin Hood, too.

But I grew out of it.


Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. Contact: bob@whitakeronline.org