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WORSHIPPING EXPERTS


As you know, I have a hard time doing what respectable conservatives do best. What respectables do best is to worship anybody in a uniform or anybody in Intelligence.

Liberals do exactly the same job of falling on their tummies when they worship liberal idols. So when the teachers' unions report another major failure, they just get that "I'm a Professional" look on their face and liberals demand that we give them more money to waste.

When experts are talking about how they have failed -- AGAIN -- exactly the same thing happens with liberals and conservatives. The experts they worship will differ, but the scenario is an exact repeat.

So when a group of conservatives asks why the intelligence services have failed - AGAIN - to come through - the Security Hero gets a pained expression on his face and explains to these poor, silly amateurs that all this is very complicated stuff and he is out there in the field and he is the big expert and what in the hell are they doing criticizing all those Heroic Experts.

And when a group of liberals asks why social services have failed - AGAIN -- the Professor or teacher's union rep gets a pained expression on his face and explains to these poor, silly amateurs that all this is very complicated stuff and he is out there in the field and he is the big expert and what in the hell are they doing criticizing all those Heroic Experts.

Whenever any security expert is interviewed about the total failures of our intelligence, he gets that self-righteous, pained look on his face. The Tough Guy Expert explains that the only reason we expect intelligence to come up with anything is because we are not Great Professionals like he is.

We are all civilian wimps while this guy is a Big Pro. He may not be able to warn us about anything we need to know about, but he is a Brave, Tough, Big Man, and we are a bunch of ignoramuses.

 

WHERE WERE ALL THOSE INTELLIGENCE SERVICE HEROES WHEN US "EXTREMISTS" WERE CRITICIZING THE LIBERALS?


All those Military Experts and Security Experts we are paying may look like Tough Guy Heroes when they are making conservatives crawl. But when they face real criticism, they have a torrent of excuses.

For instance, security experts are always whining about how liberals like Senator Torricelli crippled their work. But not a one of them said a single word about Torricelli or any other liberal back when we needed those Tough Guy Heroes to say something.

If anybody in Intelligence had complained about liberals crippling their work when we needed them to, their superiors would have ruined them, and we all know it. None of the Tough Guy Heroes is Tough and Heroic out in public when it counts.

When those of us who dared complain when it counted did complain, the Intelligence Experts would testify about how patriotic the wonderful liberals like Senators Church and Torricelli were.

 

 
IS IT RIGHT TO ASK SECURITY AGENCIES TO DO THEIR JOBS?
 


When I was in public service, I was always aware that I was drawing a salary and exercising power, and I had to justify it EVERY DAY. When I see some guy in the security services talking on television, I get the impression that he feels that we owe him his supper.

One of the most famous quotes from Ronald Reagan was, "Mr. Gorbaczev, tear down this wall." And I think we all know how many people tried to get him to take that out of his speech in West Berlin. Time after time the final draft came back to him with those lines quietly taken out. He quietly kept putting them back.

He stood in front of the Berlin Wall, which all the liberal apologists for Communism had been ignoring, and demanded RESULTS.

If I had been Reagan, I would have been as demanding of my staff as I was with Gorbaczev. If I kept putting "Tear down this Wall" in my speech and my staff had removed something AGAIN that I had put back in my speech AGAIN, they would have been looking for new jobs.

Someday we may have congressmen who say to security chest-beaters, "Stop the enemy or get out." Someday, some conservative may actually object to the repeated failures who are Official Experts daring to show up with two generations of uninterrupted failure.

 

 
ASK AND IT WILL BE GRANTED TO YOU, AND VICE-VERSA
 


When education specialists or sociologists or psychologists show up in front of congressional committees, nobody asks them if their programs WORK. Since we started hiring thousands of Criminology graduates to be our experts on crime, the rate has shot up out of sight.

The more money we hand over to our educational experts, the worse every measurable result gets.

By now, in any rational world, it should take incredible gall for a social "expert" to show up in front of a congressional committee. But in the real world, that never even occurs to anybody.

The fact is that we respect failure and we are happy to pay for failure if you show up with the right degree or the right uniform. It never seriously occurs to liberals or conservatives that we have a right to demand any results from anybody who draws public money.

The Bible says "Seek and ye shall find." No matter how hard you seek, the fact is that you may not find. But if you don't even ASK for results, you certainly won't get them.

 

WHILE EXCUSING ALL THE FAILURES, WHOM DO WE REWARD?


There has recently been a big to-do over one memo where a security man predicted that the Arabs training at flight schools in the United States might grab planes and use them to attack targets in the USA.

Everybody is arguing about whether that one memo of the thousands going up the security chain should have been recognized for its importance. Let me ask an entirely different question.

Do you think that the guy who wrote that memo will take the place of any of the higher ups who slept through reading it?

Nobody else is going to ask that.

All these security chest-beaters have said the Senator Torrecellis have ruined American security. Did you hear a single one of those people going on news shows and talking about this before September 11?

Of course not. They are big heroic patriots, but not patriotic enough to get out there and expose themselves that way.

I can personally testify to something you already know: There is nothing less rewarding in public service than being right when it counts. And as long as that is the case, I do wish people would stop blubbering over the deaths and injuries we are going to sustain, and the destruction of our children in schools.

 

A NOTE ON HINDSIGHT


When you threaten to take away some bureaucrat's pay and privileges because he is not doing his job, his excuse is always, "Well, you're just using hindsight, and hindsight is always perfect."

This neatly bypasses the basic reality, which is that he is getting PAID. If his foresight is no better than mine, he shouldn't be getting PAID.

In other words, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Let me illustrate this point:

1) I am typing this on a computer. I do not know who made this computer, but I am sure they are nice people,

2) If this computer doesn't work, I will fire the nice people who made it. That is, I will send it back and buy someone else's computer.

3) They could say that if they had known about the defect in this computer, they would have corrected it ahead of time. So I'm just using hindsight, and I am being unfair.

4) Tough. They get my money if they do their job. Excuses don't cut it.

5) The bottom line is this: If you keep people on because they are nice or their colleagues like them or because they are big tough pros and you are a wimp civilian, you are a fool. This is true even when the problem is just a few glitches on a cheap computer.

6) So if you keep paying somebody who fails at saving lives, you are an idiot.

 

 

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Issue: June 1, 2002
Editor: Virgil H. Huston, Jr.
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