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Experts and the Iraqi Crisis -- Meanwhile, Back in the Real World....


I have no interest in going to war with Iraq. What fascinates me, as usual, is just how mindless the present discussion about the situation is.

All the conservatives are, as usual, mystified by how things have developed. As usual, the "experts" on both sides are completely mystified by reality. So we pay them money and listen to every precious word that falls from their lips.

Everybody is asking, "What happened? A few months ago the whole world was backing everything Bush wanted and now we're all alone. How did this come about?"

Everybody in the world suddenly decided to back American action after September 11.

Now the liberals are back to talking like liberals and Europeans are whining about American Imperialism. Right after September 11, "National Review" had a cover picture of Americans by the thousands parachuting into war and death in World War II.

Happy days were here again!!

But all they got was a pitiful little war in Afghanistan. They want more and nobody seems to want to give it to them.

Now nobody seems to want lots of uniforms and lots of military money and all the other wonderful things conservatives were licking their chops over just a little while back.

The explanation is very, very simple. It is too simple for experts to have the slightest inkling of what is going on.

As always, what both experts and conservatives lack is a memory.

 

Uncle Turkey Scared Them - For a Moment


Right after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attack, I wrote a daily WhitakerOnline for the rest of the week. My September 15 column was entitled "Our Allies Love Us - For the Moment."

Thousands of Americans had just been killed and nobody knew how America would react. Even China and Iran tried to get on the right side of this suddenly new America, this America that might have turned really mean.

Until September 11, everybody loved to kick Sweet Old Uncle Turkey. If there was trouble in Europe the United States had to take care of it or Europeans would say they were Isolationists. When the United States got in there to take care of Europeans, the Europeans called them "Imperialists."

Americans ate it up. We get a big feeling of Humility when Europeans and East Coasters tell us how Evil we are. And East Coasters and Europeans love it, too. If you want to get elected in Europe, just bite the United States on the backside and say how smart and noble Europeans are.

I am not telling anybody a thing we haven't all known for years.

Things changed suddenly on September 11, 2001. The real point is, though, that exactly as I predicted, things changed TEMPORARILY on September 11. That day internationalists were afraid that the death of thousands of innocent American civilians might make America demand something for Americans for a change.

They needn't have worried.

Everything is back to normal. Europeans are biting our rumps and we are back to apologizing for having backsides at all.

 

All That Happened Is That Nothing Happened

Nothing happened. Europeans are telling us how imperialistic we are and we're back to eating it up, just like we were before September 11.

Last September 11, our "allies" - note that I used quotes then, too - were scared that thousands of dead Americans might make Sweet Old Uncle Turkey furious and therefore dangerous. For a few weeks nobody could decide.

Remember those few weeks after September 11? Nobody else does either.

First we quickly beat the primitive Taliban army. No surprise there. What scared our so-called "allies" was the language Bush used during that brief period.

Right after September 11, Bush said that "anybody who isn't with us was against us." That really sounded ominous. Normally all we ask of anybody is that they take our money and our troops and anything else conservatives and liberals can take from Americans and give to other people.

We hope they will not insult us too loudly after taking what we give them.

So when Bush said "you are with us or against us" it sounded like we had some purely American feelings all of a sudden. Bush for a very short period stopped sounding like the guy who wanted to give everything to Mexico. For a moment it sounded as if "We the People of the United States of America" might actually be capable of some resentment if we were kicked too hard.

That didn't outlast the Afghanistan war.

Everybody on the left, all the people Bush has spent his life trying to please, was taken aback by Bush's saying you were with us or you were against us.

Threatened with a loss of respectability, the Bush Administration began backpedaling. You see, said the State Department, being "with us" differed with each country. You could be "with us," for instance, by accepting our troops on your soil to protect you.

You are "with us," the Bush Administration explained, if you would take what we give you and not insult us too badly in return.

In other words, it was the same old song.

So everybody went back to business as usual.

But things will be worse than usual now, because all those people we crawl to for their good opinions after we save their tails again got scared after September 11. For just a moment, even the Mexicans thought that Bush had turned into some kind of American.

Nobody likes being scared. Especially, nobody likes being scared by a mouse they were momentarily afraid might turn into a lion.

Their brief moment of fear made the international community and American internationalists look silly. They are furious and they will make us pay for it.

Conservatives May Win Or Leftists May Win But Americans Have Already Lost


So "We the People" will get nothing. The Europeans and the Europeanists and the American left are sure that Good Old Uncle Turkey is back. Conservatives still hope to win by a highly successful invasion of Iraq by the United States acting alone.

As I said last week, conservative victory will give "We the People" nothing. Oil prices will skyrocket if there is a war, but the United States will not buy captured Iraqi oil at a reasonable price in order to cow OPEC. The oil will sit right where it is while Americans are gouged because of the crisis.

Why? Because everybody will agree that we should not use our idealistic war for the grubby business of getting oil.

So Americans won't win with a conservative victory. But conservatives will win. Conservatives will get the one thing they really live for.

Conservatives want lots of military money and lots of Americans in uniforms. As always, they're telling us that and only I seem to hear exactly what they are saying.

One after another, American conservatives are saying, "If we go into Iraq, we must be prepared to STAY A While." That's the conservative dream: lots and lots of American uniforms, big defense budgets. The bottom line is always the same.

And the part that both liberals and conservatives love is that none of this is for "We the People." We are in there to make a better life for the Iraqis, the Israelis, the Europeans. We are in there to SACRIFICE.

Ain't it great?

 

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Issue: Sep. 7, 2002
Editor: Virgil H. Huston, Jr.
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